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Finding Oneself In The Darkness - Printable Version +- CDBZ Archive (http://alex.zulenka.com) +-- Forum: Out of Character Forums (http://alex.zulenka.com/forumdisplay.php?fid=8) +--- Forum: RPG Discussion (http://alex.zulenka.com/forumdisplay.php?fid=125) +--- Thread: Finding Oneself In The Darkness (/showthread.php?tid=8594) |
Finding Oneself In The Darkness - Old Janemba - 08-02-2006 Very reformed writing style. Problems with grammar and the common read-over mistakes. Otherwise good. Perhaps move the story along a bit faster. Finding Oneself In The Darkness - Shun - 08-02-2006 I enjoyed it, I like how your character is evolving and how your showing his internal struggles. An i like overall what your doing with the character developing him into your own version of Bebi but still stayin close to his hatred for like life and the saiyans. |