CDBZ Archive
Finding Oneself In The Darkness - Printable Version

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Finding Oneself In The Darkness - Old Janemba - 08-02-2006

Very reformed writing style. Problems with grammar and the common read-over mistakes. Otherwise good. Perhaps move the story along a bit faster.


Finding Oneself In The Darkness - Shun - 08-02-2006

I enjoyed it, I like how your character is evolving and how your showing his internal struggles. An i like overall what your doing with the character developing him into your own version of Bebi but still stayin close to his hatred for like life and the saiyans.