Finding Oneself In The Darkness

[Old Janemba]

Very reformed writing style. Problems with grammar and the common read-over mistakes. Otherwise good. Perhaps move the story along a bit faster.

[Shun]

I enjoyed it, I like how your character is evolving and how your showing his internal struggles. An i like overall what your doing with the character developing him into your own version of Bebi but still stayin close to his hatred for like life and the saiyans.