Pre-Liminary Round 1: Raditzu's Group

[Raditzu]

Thanks, MK. And everyone else, knock it off. I don't give deadlines so I can cut people off early.

[Metal Koola]

Originally posted by Raditzu
Thanks, MK. And everyone else, knock it off. I don't give deadlines so I can cut people off early.

Love you too ;-)

[Whompt]

Aye aye, Boss.

[Raditzu]

I'll post the results soon.

[Raditzu]

Let me start by saying that I was hoping for a little more from each of you. I wouldn't consider any of these styles complete if they were posted in the staff forum. I would describe all of these as "very decent." I'll go over each of the styles and points out what I think was done well/poorly.

Whitelighter

This was a great idea, I'll be the first to admit that. Trying to introduce something that's less outwardly violent into the RPG is definitely something that we could stand. I didn't mention this earlier, but I have watched Charmed. Its hard to take the style seriously when its drawing so heavily on that series. Integrating the Luck stat into "Ki Void" was a nice touch too.

I was a bit disappointed that there was so little in the way of defensive techniques. The background/reason made it seem like there would be some pretty outstanding counters, or shielding techniques and then you get there... and there's nothing. Ki Void is potentially very useful, but horribly underpowered without anything else to augment it from the style. Healing was an obvious choice and I like the way you partitioned it into levels. In short, good job on the "support" end of the style, but not so much on the "defensive" end.

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Mage Style

Style number two for 13, so bonus points for that. I was hoping everyone would contribute at least two styles, but that didn't so much happen.

First and foremost: we have three kinesis techs on Chubbs. I don't know if you intetionally left out Raikinesis or not, but if you didn't then I can't consider this style even close to complete.

Moving on, if you take the Elemntal Skills as one style, then this is ok. You didn't spread out the style into different levels of techniques like you did with Whitelighter, so that's a minus. The requirements, overall, are a little low unless the appropriate Kinesis was supposed to be required; that was a bit unclear.

Conversly, if you take each of the Kinesis styles individually, they're pretty shoddily done. There is little depth to each style and little reason to go through the training when you could just as easily go "hey cool, I have fire" in a personal storyline. You have to remember that, by committing themselves to training under one of these styles, people are giving up a lot of good personal RP fodder.

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Drunken Master

This style was my favorite. By far.

You took something and twisted it to fit the RPG universe perfectly. The techniques are well developed and extremely interesting. I would absolutely love to RP using some of those Drunken Spirit techniques. And "Internal Brewery"? Don't get me started on that one.

My only real complaint about this style is how strictly you limited who can learn it. Consider how many straight-up humans people play. Yamcha, Yaj, Tien, Krillin, Bulma, Videl, Violet, Silver, Blue. Ok, there are a few. Now consider how many of them that have stats to fit those requirements. To save you the trouble of checking, I'll just tell you: two. And one of those people happens to be the one that made the style. =P

Imagine something like this being introduced to the RPG. Would you really want it to be left on the side of the road just because the reqs. were too strict?

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Berserker Style

Everything about this style, in my opinion, feels rushed. I think the ideas are good and I think there is some serious potential for this to be turned into something incredibly interesting, but its falling a couple of steps short. I thought the techniques were interesting, but there wasn't enough in them. Spreading them into levels would have helped, along with throwing in a couple other ones.

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Kouseitan'i ryu jitsu

I looked at this one similarly to the way I looked at the Mage Style.

Taken all together, this was one of the more interesting styles. I think you did a good job creating levels and interesting techniques that utilize the kinesis techs.

Indiviually, however, the story is a bit different. Like I said about the Berserker styles, each style seems to fall just a bit short, with most aspects feeling rushed, or underdeveloped. I understand that trying to throw everything together all at once can be trying, but I wish each of these had been given just a bit more time.

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Now, I've looked at the styles and pointed out a few things about all of them. As some of you might notice, though, I left something out. The teachers, specifically. I don't know if you all remember, but teachers were the second part of this task. To put it quite bluntly: they were all boring. With the sole exception of the Drunken Master, none of these NPCs are anything other than just that: NPCs. They have no character, they don't really come off as anything special, and they are certainly not people I would want to throw my character into rigorous training with.

Anyway, I suppose I'm supposed to kick people out or something, right?


Thirteen - Whitelighter / Mage Styles - Pass

Blue - Drunken Style - Pass

Metal Koola - Berserker Style - Fail

Goten - Kouseitan'i ryu jitsu - Pass