So yeah...

[Jewtastic]

I think my mom would laugh at most. Not the rape joke...unless it was Elmer Fudd raping Porky Pig.

[Talys]

Helen Keller Jokes!


What do Helen Keller's parents do when they want to confuse her or play a joke on her?

[Talys]

Rearrange the furniture.


Why did Helen Keller's dog commit suicide?

[Talys]

You'd want to kill yourself too if you name was "Aaauuhhha."



Why can't Helen Keller drive?

[Talys]

She's a woman.



(Sorry for the continuous posting, but it was a three part joke >.>)

[Kami]

This one isn't offensive, just funny...

Two aliens arrive on Planet Earth after a long journey through space. They touch down on the planet in the middle of the night in the Arizona desert. Nothing for miles around, and the nearest beacon of shining light is a lone gas station on the side of a road.

The aliens make their way over only to find that the gas station is empty. They had never been to Earth before and so one of the aliens stays back while the other goes up to make contact. He assumes the gas pump, standing tall before him in the inhabitant of this planet. He calmly addresses the gas pump.

"Greetings Earthling, we come in peace. Take us to your leader."

The gas pump remains silent.

"Earthling!" The alien says again, "We come in peace. Please, take us to your leader!"

Again, silence from the gas pump.

The alien begins to grow annoyed. Here he is, trying to extend a little intergalactic friendship and all he is met with is silence. He draws his laser pistol and points it at the pump.

"Earthling! I will not ask kindly again! We come in peace, take us to your leader!" He stares down the barrel of his pistol at the gas pump, waiting for a response and gets nothing. His patience is tried and he is done being nice. Just as he is about the squeeze the trigger he hears his companion shouting

"NOOOOOO!!!"

Too late.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMM!

The gas station explodes, erupting in flames and shrapnel, the force of the blast sending the two aliens hurtling through the night sky. They come to rest out in the desert, charred and jostled but no worse for wear. The alien who fired the gun turns to the second alien.

"How did you know I shouldn't have fired on that Earthling?"

The second alien sighs heavily, "You just don't mess with a guy who can wrap his dick around his waist and stick it in his ear!"

[Jewtastic]

...I think I've been to that gas station.

[Blind Man]

I think my mom would laugh at most. Not the rape joke...unless it was Elmer Fudd raping Porky Pig.

George Carlin ftw.


Anyway.

~~~

Two blondes and Helen Keller are walking through the forest when they spot some tracks. "I think they're deer tracks, there must be deer nearby!" says one blonde, who runs off into the woods. "I think they're bear tracks, there must be bears nearby!" says the other blonde, who runs off in another direction.

Helen Keller says "AHSHAJFHSDF" and gets hit by the train.

[Jewtastic]

Why don't mexicans like BBQ's?



Because the beans always fall through the grate!!!!!

[Blind Man]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DQZ3mNX2FyY

While we're on the Helen Keller subject.