08-03-2009, 06:48 PM
The writing itself is very good. You have a good grasp of grammar and word flow, as do many of the writers on this site. It was nice to see to a different sort of style in a fight, but like posts with too much action, it's a novelty that eventually wears off. I know you're experimenting here, and as an experiment it was a success, but you would probably do well to mix in more of the actions with their driving forces and rhythm. To me, if matched seamlessly, action and thought can take writing to a whole different level.
In regards to your character himself, I should start by saying that I'm not a fan of the concept behind it. I find that it lays too much groundwork for egotism. That said, Meer portrays what you want very effectively. As long as continue to make efforts to keep him from being a true overman, I think you'll continue to write more interesting material.
Sorry I don't have more for you yet. Keep writing, and maybe I'll have more insight later on.
In regards to your character himself, I should start by saying that I'm not a fan of the concept behind it. I find that it lays too much groundwork for egotism. That said, Meer portrays what you want very effectively. As long as continue to make efforts to keep him from being a true overman, I think you'll continue to write more interesting material.
Sorry I don't have more for you yet. Keep writing, and maybe I'll have more insight later on.