[BT1] Mal Nova v John Doe Review

[Victoria]

Mal:

Hey, look at that, I read both your posts =P. Joking aside. You HAVE improved, but there were still a lot of errors that, for as long as you've been here, shouldn't be there. You misused "Too" a lot, instead you said "To" so, "He was to tired" instead of "He was too tired" for example. There was also a lot of sentences that were just...hard to understand. Do you proof read? I find that reading something out loud can help the structure of your story. One thing you should try to improve on is your use of aliases. It's okay to use them here and there, but you will often use two to three in one paragraph, they also don't need to be punctuated 100% of the time. But like I said, you are improving, it shows.

Doe:

Your posts were hilarious, I enjoyed them. I did notice you had some general typos, also, there was a lack of depth to your stuff. What I did like was your use of internal dialogue. You did it very well. I was slightly lost on a few parts, but I know fighting can be hard to describe. I think overall it was good, but showed that you invest very little time in your posts.

Although Mal has improved, I still have to give my vote to John Doe. His writing was stronger overall. Both of you did well.