Some time ago, in modern DC Comics continuity, the billionaire Bruce Wayne fell to the all-powerful Omega Beams of the mighty Darkseid. When I read this splash page, I was quite frightened. I believed that Batman was no more, that the comic Gods had stripped me of what has become (in recent years) my hero. In the ensuing months it was revealed that Dick Grayson was to take his place, the orphan protege whom called himself "Nightwing".
We had a Batman... once upon a time. I don't even remember what he did, or why people hated him, I just remember the ensuing comments on the topic of "Monster Carrot". Everywhere. It was the talk of the internet! Well... maybe not the internet... but shit, you could've convinced me otherwise.
Then came Dana. Don't remember him either. I guess they were the same person? LOL THATS NEVER HAPPENED BEFORE WINK WINK WINK BLACK GUY FROM UK WINK WINK COUGH WINK.
I remember Max. Boy oh fucking boy... you guys gave that fella quite an anal parade. He'd say A, someone would say B, the person that said B was probably staff, which is usually enough to make an idiot out of any person who says A... then he'd want to be a "dhampire", and everyone would step off in his thurr grill with hard cold facts as to why he couldn't. Sometimes this progressed into some heated debate, warnings were passed out, clicky chatter ensued over AIM CHAT (lol i loved those days... not really), the United Nations were given an official report the next day, etc.
etc.
etc.
The funny thing is, looking back... would letting that pathetic kid call himself a dhampire really have made that big of a fucking difference? Oh but no! If he had been allowed to do that, then someone would come along after him and claim a man and female character, attesting that one character was only a "figment of the real character's imagination". Followed by complete chaos, everyone losing their minds, climbing trees and hurling their feces at one another, bathing in urine whilst watching dubbed anime... Jesus fucking Christ guys, you really dodged a fucking bullet on that one. I applaud you.
I apologize. I'm trying to keep this professional. I really am. Doubt anyone's reading this anyway. And on the topic of apologies, apparently I made people feel bad about themselves by sharing my experiences as a young adult able to (albeit temporarily) overcome the crippling social isolation of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and live the life I have always wanted?
...?
...?
I'm not going to apologize for that. Suck my fucking dick if what I had to say in a thread titled "RELATIONSHIPS N SHIT" pertained to the pursuit of RELATIONSHIPS with OTHER FUCKING PEOPLE. I never said I was better than anyone. Perhaps I lost my temper when my thread was destroyed by sarcasm and people wanting to fill it with tales of how they were "never going to meet anyone, nevah gone be shit in dis wurl", etc. I wanted a thread to CONDONE the courage to live one's life, not have it fucking ruined by faggots that just wanted to bitch and moan, and on top of all the bitching and moaning, ignore advice from someone who has been on both sides of the goddamn computer screen. Go to FUCKING. HELL.
But I'm sure that never happened. I'm just making shit up right now... in fact, 98.14% of this post is complete bullshit! Ask staff, they'll tell you. See, when someone becomes Max, they also become illiterate, develop a crippling case of amnesia, and devote the entirety of the rest of their lives to the apprehension of Chubbs' important "files".
I understand the need for Monster Carrot. Dana. Max. Me. People like Mal and Pinky only ruffle feathers for a while, but they can't persist forever... soon they become part of the machine, thinking they have friends here, willing to point the finger at the true antagonist when the time arises. But me? Mothafuckah I'm the real deal. You all need this. Don't fight it. My gift to you.
So. Chubbsians. Fellow Americans, Brits, Aussies, and inhabitants of Fatland via the Nutrition Facts Highway, I urge you not to lock this thread and deny your nature, but post here! Which Max has been your favorite? How many times have you read a join application just to see if said applicant had the potential to replace the resident forum moron? Don't deny it. Don't deny what you all have become... or perhaps this is what you all were since the very beginning? Fuck if I know. Fuck if I plan to waste any more of my years in front of a fucking laptop, craving the acceptance of people who can't even see their own genitals.
![[Image: fat-people-27615581210_xlarge.jpeg]](http://images.sodahead.com/slideshows/000002575/fat-people-27615581210_xlarge.jpeg)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pi-6bLFp_...re=related
We had a Batman... once upon a time. I don't even remember what he did, or why people hated him, I just remember the ensuing comments on the topic of "Monster Carrot". Everywhere. It was the talk of the internet! Well... maybe not the internet... but shit, you could've convinced me otherwise.
Then came Dana. Don't remember him either. I guess they were the same person? LOL THATS NEVER HAPPENED BEFORE WINK WINK WINK BLACK GUY FROM UK WINK WINK COUGH WINK.
I remember Max. Boy oh fucking boy... you guys gave that fella quite an anal parade. He'd say A, someone would say B, the person that said B was probably staff, which is usually enough to make an idiot out of any person who says A... then he'd want to be a "dhampire", and everyone would step off in his thurr grill with hard cold facts as to why he couldn't. Sometimes this progressed into some heated debate, warnings were passed out, clicky chatter ensued over AIM CHAT (lol i loved those days... not really), the United Nations were given an official report the next day, etc.
etc.
etc.
The funny thing is, looking back... would letting that pathetic kid call himself a dhampire really have made that big of a fucking difference? Oh but no! If he had been allowed to do that, then someone would come along after him and claim a man and female character, attesting that one character was only a "figment of the real character's imagination". Followed by complete chaos, everyone losing their minds, climbing trees and hurling their feces at one another, bathing in urine whilst watching dubbed anime... Jesus fucking Christ guys, you really dodged a fucking bullet on that one. I applaud you.
I apologize. I'm trying to keep this professional. I really am. Doubt anyone's reading this anyway. And on the topic of apologies, apparently I made people feel bad about themselves by sharing my experiences as a young adult able to (albeit temporarily) overcome the crippling social isolation of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and live the life I have always wanted?
...?
...?
I'm not going to apologize for that. Suck my fucking dick if what I had to say in a thread titled "RELATIONSHIPS N SHIT" pertained to the pursuit of RELATIONSHIPS with OTHER FUCKING PEOPLE. I never said I was better than anyone. Perhaps I lost my temper when my thread was destroyed by sarcasm and people wanting to fill it with tales of how they were "never going to meet anyone, nevah gone be shit in dis wurl", etc. I wanted a thread to CONDONE the courage to live one's life, not have it fucking ruined by faggots that just wanted to bitch and moan, and on top of all the bitching and moaning, ignore advice from someone who has been on both sides of the goddamn computer screen. Go to FUCKING. HELL.
But I'm sure that never happened. I'm just making shit up right now... in fact, 98.14% of this post is complete bullshit! Ask staff, they'll tell you. See, when someone becomes Max, they also become illiterate, develop a crippling case of amnesia, and devote the entirety of the rest of their lives to the apprehension of Chubbs' important "files".
I understand the need for Monster Carrot. Dana. Max. Me. People like Mal and Pinky only ruffle feathers for a while, but they can't persist forever... soon they become part of the machine, thinking they have friends here, willing to point the finger at the true antagonist when the time arises. But me? Mothafuckah I'm the real deal. You all need this. Don't fight it. My gift to you.
So. Chubbsians. Fellow Americans, Brits, Aussies, and inhabitants of Fatland via the Nutrition Facts Highway, I urge you not to lock this thread and deny your nature, but post here! Which Max has been your favorite? How many times have you read a join application just to see if said applicant had the potential to replace the resident forum moron? Don't deny it. Don't deny what you all have become... or perhaps this is what you all were since the very beginning? Fuck if I know. Fuck if I plan to waste any more of my years in front of a fucking laptop, craving the acceptance of people who can't even see their own genitals.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pi-6bLFp_...re=related
Quote: "for a quarter million a year growing weed, i'd fucking be gay. with dick on the side." - Laura, on mairjuana