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Heavy Heart ~poem
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12-08-2004, 09:39 PM
That was a pretty good poem. The imagery was wonderful, and rather concrete. However, the syllabic inequality between the lines kinda shook it up a bit. You don't have to have perfect meter (as I can't really stand to attempt doing that), but it would greatly help the flow of this piece.
In all, not bad. ![[Image: heydudezew6.png]](http://img139.imageshack.us/img139/7540/heydudezew6.png)
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| Messages In This Thread |
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Heavy Heart ~poem - by Reijin - 12-07-2004, 11:57 PM
Heavy Heart ~poem - by Old Selipa - 12-08-2004, 12:53 AM
Heavy Heart ~poem - by Hellfighter 17 - 12-08-2004, 01:11 AM
Heavy Heart ~poem - by Old Selipa - 12-08-2004, 05:04 PM
Heavy Heart ~poem - by Krillin - 12-08-2004, 09:39 PM
Heavy Heart ~poem - by Krillin - 12-09-2004, 02:51 AM
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