10-27-2005, 11:30 PM
The roleplay sample is good except for one part. Your dialogue. You had it like this:
When not only did you spell Piccolo wrong, but instead it should be something like this:
Or
I hope you understand.
And also, we write past tense here. You are writing present, so instead of "Piccolo flies over there" it would be "Piccolo flew over there".
And also your three moves and you can register.
Quote:Piccalo " Do you think that you have improved"
When not only did you spell Piccolo wrong, but instead it should be something like this:
Quote:Piccolo questioned his friend, "Do you think that you have improved?"
Or
Quote:" Do you think that you have improved" Piccolo inquired.
I hope you understand.
And also, we write past tense here. You are writing present, so instead of "Piccolo flies over there" it would be "Piccolo flew over there".
And also your three moves and you can register.

