Brian's Lament

[Hellfighter 17]

Hmm. This one seemed a bit off. I'm used to having to think of a meaning in your pieces, and I'm not syaing that more straight-forward stuff is entirely bad, but at about the beginning you related his life to a book, whidch I thought wa spretty good, but then you turned it into basically saying the same thing and straight-forward, too, which makes it a bit out of tune and repetitive. Also, the first line does not really match the style of the 'straight-forward bit either. =/ Hope I didn't sound too mah-hean. I would of read it sooner, but I was on the computer at the school at lunch which sucks so your thread wasn't new anymore =(