See ehn See

[Nappa]

I'm on it.

Okay, first of all, it looks to me as though you're a bit on the rusty side. I don't know how much writing you've been doing of late, but that's the perception I'm getting. Let's get a few examples to show you what I mean:

If it weren't for the high-tech and expensive equipment that covered the entire dojo wall-to-wall, the collision between Raditzu's ki-fused fist and Burter's kinetic shield would have caused the entire space station to erupt in a firework show. Fortunetly, thanks to the machines around the two, the explosion was dummed down and did only enough to knock every single onlooker back onto their ass.

From where I'm sitting, that's an tad on the redundant side. You established that there was machinery surrounding them, then you go and remind us unnecessarily. However, as stated above, these are just my perceptions on the matter.

The spectators looked up just as Burter and Raditzu exchanged blows as rapid speed. Most of them couldn't follow the shots at all, as neither seemed to be doing any damage from the outside, mainly because all they could see were arms and lets flurrying up and down.

If the spectators can't follow the blows, how could the tell whether damage was being inflicted? Hmmm, I worded that wrong, let's see...

When I picture two people fighting at super-human speeds, I picture their entire bodies, not just their arms or legs, not lets, flailing wildly. If this is accurate, then they wouldn't be able to tell anyway, so I think that too is an unnecessary statment.

As far as fight description goes, you seem to go for the more simplistic, instead of the more lyrical approach that some tend to take. I, personally, don't like that. Showing not telling. Basic principle of writing. In your fights, as well as in general, you seem to do too much telling, not enough showing.

Immediately upon hitting the ground, both fired five ki blasts at once, and all ten knocked into each other and cancelled each other out. Before anymore taunts could be said, they matched up again in melee, this time with Burter coming out on top with a hard kick to the saiyan's burly chest.

Where were there taunts said? Are you talking to in a previous roleplay, or this:

"Here we go!" He declared just as fist was raised up, ready to crash down upon his target.

If you do mean that, I wouldn't consider that a taunt, per se. If you don't, then I'm lost.

There are some grammatical/spelling errors, but I don't feel it necessary to bring them to light.

Overall, I'd give it a...6.8/10. I've know you can do better, and I expect to see it down the line.

Hope that helps. Chances are it won't, but I tried.