C&C on my Spiritken training

[Alsa]

Good.

7/10

RULES
3.) If you?re going to give constructive criticism and comments, be as helpful and specific as you possibly can, avoiding short, two sentence compliments like ?this is really good? or ?you?re a great writer? and the classic ?this sucks.? Be able to support your C&C with excerpts from the passage you are reviewing, especially with criticism.

EDIT: The effort is most likely appreciated, but read up, will ya?