See ehn See

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See ehn See

Super Buu Offline

Member

Posts: 61
Threads: 398
Joined: Oct 2005

#134

05-26-2007, 11:05 PM

Quote:Originally posted by Kollifum
Day One: Afternoon

pls

The first thing that hit me was that you said 'patter' twice in the first sentence. It happens to the best of us, but it still stands out too much (especially to a grammar nazi like me >_>).

Overall the post was hilarious. Kollifum's interactions with the monkey, despite the scenario being an unrealistic one, seemed very believable. I loved the 'THE TABLES HAVE TURNED!' rant. I hope you elaborate on the relationship.

My only advice is to maybe touch up on your grammar. Little stuff, like capitalising the first letter in a sentence (whether it's preceded by dots or not), might not impress Burter but is good to learn. Read books to see how it's done, and USE WORD! =P

ELECTROKINESIS!!!

Bra Wrote:People are dumb, essentially.

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Messages In This Thread

See ehn See - by Raditzu - 05-09-2007, 04:40 AM

See ehn See - by Raditzu - 05-09-2007, 04:41 AM

See ehn See - by Burter - 05-09-2007, 04:49 AM

See ehn See - by Olibu - 05-09-2007, 05:17 AM

See ehn See - by Bojack - 05-09-2007, 06:41 AM

See ehn See - by Burter - 05-09-2007, 06:49 AM

See ehn See - by Bojack - 05-09-2007, 06:51 AM

See ehn See - by Raditzu - 05-09-2007, 06:53 AM

See ehn See - by Android-18 - 05-09-2007, 06:53 AM

See ehn See - by Burter - 05-09-2007, 06:53 AM

See ehn See - by Reijin - 05-09-2007, 08:32 AM

See ehn See - by Grandpa Gohan - 05-09-2007, 10:17 PM

See ehn See - by Whompt - 05-10-2007, 12:41 AM

See ehn See - by Aero - 05-10-2007, 12:49 AM

See ehn See - by Bujin - 05-10-2007, 01:06 AM

See ehn See - by Old Zangya - 05-10-2007, 03:34 AM

See ehn See - by Old Zangya - 05-11-2007, 01:53 AM

See ehn See - by Kirano - 05-11-2007, 02:01 AM

See ehn See - by Raditzu - 05-11-2007, 02:02 AM

See ehn See - by Bujin - 05-11-2007, 02:03 AM

See ehn See - by Raditzu - 05-11-2007, 02:04 AM

See ehn See - by Bujin - 05-11-2007, 02:09 AM

See ehn See - by Old Zangya - 05-11-2007, 02:51 AM

See ehn See - by Burter - 05-11-2007, 02:56 AM

See ehn See - by Old Zangya - 05-11-2007, 02:58 AM

See ehn See - by Burter - 05-11-2007, 03:01 AM

See ehn See - by Old Zangya - 05-11-2007, 03:05 AM

See ehn See - by Aero - 05-11-2007, 12:42 PM

See ehn See - by Minoshia - 05-12-2007, 02:31 PM

See ehn See - by King Cold444 - 05-12-2007, 03:43 PM

See ehn See - by Retane - 05-13-2007, 05:10 AM

See ehn See - by Bra - 05-13-2007, 11:20 PM

See ehn See - by Bojack - 05-13-2007, 11:30 PM

See ehn See - by Old Zangya - 05-13-2007, 11:39 PM

See ehn See - by Bojack - 05-13-2007, 11:49 PM

See ehn See - by Tobias - 05-14-2007, 03:46 AM

See ehn See - by Raditzu - 05-14-2007, 04:57 AM

See ehn See - by Retane - 05-14-2007, 05:27 AM

See ehn See - by Old Zangya - 05-15-2007, 08:52 PM

See ehn See - by Retane - 05-16-2007, 02:11 AM

See ehn See - by Raditzu - 05-16-2007, 05:39 AM

See ehn See - by Burter - 05-16-2007, 05:42 AM

See ehn See - by Raditzu - 05-16-2007, 05:43 AM

See ehn See - by Burter - 05-16-2007, 05:47 AM

See ehn See - by Burter - 05-16-2007, 05:59 AM

See ehn See - by Raditzu - 05-16-2007, 06:03 AM

See ehn See - by OldSpice - 05-17-2007, 12:05 AM

See ehn See - by Burter - 05-17-2007, 12:15 AM

See ehn See - by Retane - 05-17-2007, 01:04 AM

See ehn See - by Burter - 05-17-2007, 01:06 AM

See ehn See - by Retane - 05-17-2007, 01:20 AM

See ehn See - by Burter - 05-17-2007, 01:31 AM

See ehn See - by Retane - 05-17-2007, 01:36 AM

See ehn See - by OldSpice - 05-17-2007, 02:22 AM

See ehn See - by Old Zangya - 05-17-2007, 02:47 AM

See ehn See - by OldSpice - 05-17-2007, 02:51 AM

See ehn See - by Burter - 05-17-2007, 02:57 AM

See ehn See - by Nappa - 05-17-2007, 03:16 AM

See ehn See - by Deo - 05-22-2007, 02:10 AM

See ehn See - by Jeice - 05-22-2007, 02:26 AM

See ehn See - by Tapion - 05-22-2007, 03:12 AM

See ehn See - by Yamu - 05-22-2007, 02:15 PM

See ehn See - by Deo - 05-22-2007, 11:17 PM

See ehn See - by Aero - 05-23-2007, 12:15 AM

See ehn See - by Deo - 05-23-2007, 12:17 AM

See ehn See - by Jeice - 05-23-2007, 12:29 AM

See ehn See - by Nappa - 05-23-2007, 02:19 AM

See ehn See - by Jeice - 05-23-2007, 02:23 AM

See ehn See - by Android-18 - 05-23-2007, 06:23 AM

See ehn See - by Deo - 05-23-2007, 11:16 PM

See ehn See - by Minoshia - 05-24-2007, 01:00 AM

See ehn See - by Bujin - 05-24-2007, 01:15 AM

See ehn See - by Retane - 05-24-2007, 02:14 AM

See ehn See - by Aero - 05-24-2007, 12:32 PM

See ehn See - by Celipa - 05-24-2007, 11:34 PM

See ehn See - by Retane - 05-24-2007, 11:37 PM

See ehn See - by Aero - 05-25-2007, 12:46 AM

See ehn See - by Retane - 05-25-2007, 12:47 AM

See ehn See - by Super Buu - 05-25-2007, 01:37 AM

See ehn See - by Bra - 05-25-2007, 01:38 AM

See ehn See - by Old Zangya - 05-25-2007, 01:39 AM

See ehn See - by Super Buu - 05-25-2007, 01:43 AM

See ehn See - by Bra - 05-25-2007, 01:43 AM

See ehn See - by Old Zangya - 05-25-2007, 01:46 AM

See ehn See - by Old Zangya - 05-25-2007, 01:55 AM

See ehn See - by Bujin - 05-25-2007, 02:02 AM

See ehn See - by Jinpo - 05-25-2007, 02:03 AM

See ehn See - by Retane - 05-25-2007, 02:09 AM

See ehn See - by Bujin - 05-25-2007, 02:10 AM

See ehn See - by Retane - 05-25-2007, 02:11 AM

See ehn See - by Jinpo - 05-25-2007, 02:15 AM

See ehn See - by Retane - 05-25-2007, 02:16 AM

See ehn See - by Nori - 05-25-2007, 02:21 AM

See ehn See - by Orion - 05-25-2007, 03:10 AM

See ehn See - by Retane - 05-25-2007, 03:13 AM

See ehn See - by Jinpo - 05-25-2007, 04:24 AM

See ehn See - by Orion - 05-25-2007, 04:29 AM

See ehn See - by OldPikkon - 05-25-2007, 04:57 AM

See ehn See - by Super Buu - 05-25-2007, 12:29 PM

See ehn See - by Orion - 05-25-2007, 01:07 PM

See ehn See - by Super Buu - 05-25-2007, 01:14 PM

See ehn See - by Raditzu - 05-25-2007, 06:24 PM

See ehn See - by Vegeta - 05-25-2007, 08:35 PM

See ehn See - by Old Zangya - 05-25-2007, 08:46 PM

See ehn See - by Old Zangya - 05-25-2007, 08:53 PM

See ehn See - by Aero - 05-25-2007, 11:02 PM

See ehn See - by Raditzu - 05-25-2007, 11:07 PM

See ehn See - by Yajirobe - 05-25-2007, 11:22 PM

See ehn See - by Old Zangya - 05-25-2007, 11:23 PM

See ehn See - by Bardock - 05-25-2007, 11:23 PM

See ehn See - by Aero - 05-25-2007, 11:33 PM

See ehn See - by Retane - 05-26-2007, 02:39 AM

See ehn See - by Jinpo - 05-26-2007, 02:43 AM

See ehn See - by Retane - 05-26-2007, 02:48 AM

See ehn See - by Android 17 - 05-26-2007, 02:59 AM

See ehn See - by Jinpo - 05-26-2007, 03:00 AM

See ehn See - by Retane - 05-26-2007, 03:02 AM

See ehn See - by Android 17 - 05-26-2007, 03:12 AM

See ehn See - by OldSpice - 05-26-2007, 08:33 AM

See ehn See - by Android 17 - 05-26-2007, 08:39 AM

See ehn See - by Old Zangya - 05-26-2007, 12:06 PM

See ehn See - by Jinpo - 05-26-2007, 12:41 PM

See ehn See - by Aero - 05-26-2007, 01:10 PM

See ehn See - by Deo - 05-26-2007, 01:14 PM

See ehn See - by Aero - 05-26-2007, 01:22 PM

See ehn See - by Orion - 05-26-2007, 02:24 PM

See ehn See - by Nappa - 05-26-2007, 02:28 PM

See ehn See - by Burter - 05-26-2007, 02:33 PM

See ehn See - by Retane - 05-26-2007, 03:52 PM

See ehn See - by Deo - 05-26-2007, 04:09 PM

See ehn See - by Retane - 05-26-2007, 04:13 PM

See ehn See - by Android 17 - 05-26-2007, 05:49 PM

See ehn See - by OldSpice - 05-26-2007, 07:21 PM

See ehn See - by Super Buu - 05-26-2007, 11:05 PM

See ehn See - by Minoshia - 05-27-2007, 01:04 AM

See ehn See - by Paragus - 05-27-2007, 01:07 AM

See ehn See - by Android 17 - 05-27-2007, 01:30 AM

See ehn See - by Minoshia - 05-27-2007, 01:37 AM

See ehn See - by Retane - 05-27-2007, 04:16 AM

See ehn See - by Android 17 - 05-27-2007, 07:01 PM

See ehn See - by Jinpo - 05-27-2007, 10:22 PM

See ehn See - by Aero - 05-27-2007, 10:26 PM

See ehn See - by Retane - 05-28-2007, 04:39 AM

See ehn See - by Aero - 05-28-2007, 10:23 PM

See ehn See - by Yamu - 05-28-2007, 10:25 PM

See ehn See - by Super Buu - 05-28-2007, 10:33 PM

See ehn See - by Aero - 05-28-2007, 10:34 PM

See ehn See - by Aero - 05-28-2007, 10:40 PM

See ehn See - by Raditzu - 05-28-2007, 10:45 PM

See ehn See - by Aero - 05-28-2007, 10:56 PM

See ehn See - by Retane - 05-28-2007, 11:02 PM

See ehn See - by Bujin - 05-28-2007, 11:03 PM

See ehn See - by Aero - 05-29-2007, 12:48 PM

See ehn See - by Aero - 05-29-2007, 12:50 PM

See ehn See - by Retane - 05-30-2007, 12:58 AM

See ehn See - by Aero - 05-30-2007, 01:05 AM

See ehn See - by Retane - 05-30-2007, 03:06 AM

See ehn See - by Vegeta - 05-30-2007, 03:10 AM

See ehn See - by Retane - 05-30-2007, 03:22 AM

See ehn See - by Jinpo - 05-30-2007, 03:41 AM

See ehn See - by Saz - 05-31-2007, 12:28 AM

See ehn See - by Mowgli - 05-31-2007, 07:17 AM

See ehn See - by Aero - 05-31-2007, 12:44 PM

See ehn See - by Bujin - 05-31-2007, 08:53 PM

See ehn See - by Aero - 05-31-2007, 09:00 PM

See ehn See - by Celipa - 06-01-2007, 12:58 AM

See ehn See - by Retane - 06-01-2007, 01:05 AM

See ehn See - by Celipa - 06-01-2007, 01:11 AM

See ehn See - by Aero - 06-01-2007, 01:22 AM

See ehn See - by Celipa - 06-01-2007, 01:27 AM

See ehn See - by Deo - 06-01-2007, 01:28 AM

See ehn See - by Retane - 06-01-2007, 02:24 AM

See ehn See - by Burter - 06-01-2007, 02:26 AM

See ehn See - by Retane - 06-01-2007, 02:40 AM

See ehn See - by Deo - 06-01-2007, 02:41 AM

See ehn See - by Aero - 06-01-2007, 06:50 PM

See ehn See - by Aero - 06-01-2007, 10:01 PM

See ehn See - by Retane - 06-01-2007, 11:20 PM

See ehn See - by Jinpo - 06-02-2007, 12:45 AM

See ehn See - by Android 17 - 06-02-2007, 01:56 AM

See ehn See - by Retane - 06-02-2007, 03:07 AM

See ehn See - by Raditzu - 06-04-2007, 03:22 AM

See ehn See - by Retane - 06-04-2007, 03:34 AM

See ehn See - by Jinpo - 06-04-2007, 03:37 AM

See ehn See - by Burter - 06-04-2007, 03:40 AM

See ehn See - by Retane - 06-04-2007, 03:41 AM

See ehn See - by Jinpo - 06-04-2007, 12:13 PM

See ehn See - by Raditzu - 06-07-2007, 08:20 PM

See ehn See - by Deo - 06-07-2007, 11:27 PM

See ehn See - by Android 17 - 06-07-2007, 11:43 PM

See ehn See - by Jinpo - 06-09-2007, 03:46 AM

See ehn See - by Android 17 - 06-10-2007, 01:58 AM

See ehn See - by Bra - 06-10-2007, 02:35 AM

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