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See ehn See

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See ehn See
Aero Offline
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Posts: 59
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Joined: May 2006
#177
06-01-2007, 10:01 PM
Quote:Originally posted by Retane
EH you've been dead>_>

Day Three: Early Morning

The RP itself was written pretty well. I couldn't get into the emotional flow at the beginning though, which was kind of annoying. You just didn't express it as well as you probably could have (with more thought in it). Also, some of the words didn't fit; seemed like you right-clicked some words and scrolled right down to synonyms on MS Word. At the end it got a little stronger and I got into it more than the beginning. A few errors were there, which could have been fixed with revision (I'm such a hypocrite).


Rating: 8/10
[Image: 1stAerosig.png]
Placed 3rd in Dante's Abyss 08
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Messages In This Thread
See ehn See - by Raditzu - 05-09-2007, 04:40 AM
See ehn See - by Raditzu - 05-09-2007, 04:41 AM
See ehn See - by Burter - 05-09-2007, 04:49 AM
See ehn See - by Olibu - 05-09-2007, 05:17 AM
See ehn See - by Bojack - 05-09-2007, 06:41 AM
See ehn See - by Burter - 05-09-2007, 06:49 AM
See ehn See - by Bojack - 05-09-2007, 06:51 AM
See ehn See - by Raditzu - 05-09-2007, 06:53 AM
See ehn See - by Android-18 - 05-09-2007, 06:53 AM
See ehn See - by Burter - 05-09-2007, 06:53 AM
See ehn See - by Reijin - 05-09-2007, 08:32 AM
See ehn See - by Grandpa Gohan - 05-09-2007, 10:17 PM
See ehn See - by Whompt - 05-10-2007, 12:41 AM
See ehn See - by Aero - 05-10-2007, 12:49 AM
See ehn See - by Bujin - 05-10-2007, 01:06 AM
See ehn See - by Old Zangya - 05-10-2007, 03:34 AM
See ehn See - by Old Zangya - 05-11-2007, 01:53 AM
See ehn See - by Kirano - 05-11-2007, 02:01 AM
See ehn See - by Raditzu - 05-11-2007, 02:02 AM
See ehn See - by Bujin - 05-11-2007, 02:03 AM
See ehn See - by Raditzu - 05-11-2007, 02:04 AM
See ehn See - by Bujin - 05-11-2007, 02:09 AM
See ehn See - by Old Zangya - 05-11-2007, 02:51 AM
See ehn See - by Burter - 05-11-2007, 02:56 AM
See ehn See - by Old Zangya - 05-11-2007, 02:58 AM
See ehn See - by Burter - 05-11-2007, 03:01 AM
See ehn See - by Old Zangya - 05-11-2007, 03:05 AM
See ehn See - by Aero - 05-11-2007, 12:42 PM
See ehn See - by Minoshia - 05-12-2007, 02:31 PM
See ehn See - by King Cold444 - 05-12-2007, 03:43 PM
See ehn See - by Retane - 05-13-2007, 05:10 AM
See ehn See - by Bra - 05-13-2007, 11:20 PM
See ehn See - by Bojack - 05-13-2007, 11:30 PM
See ehn See - by Old Zangya - 05-13-2007, 11:39 PM
See ehn See - by Bojack - 05-13-2007, 11:49 PM
See ehn See - by Tobias - 05-14-2007, 03:46 AM
See ehn See - by Raditzu - 05-14-2007, 04:57 AM
See ehn See - by Retane - 05-14-2007, 05:27 AM
See ehn See - by Old Zangya - 05-15-2007, 08:52 PM
See ehn See - by Retane - 05-16-2007, 02:11 AM
See ehn See - by Raditzu - 05-16-2007, 05:39 AM
See ehn See - by Burter - 05-16-2007, 05:42 AM
See ehn See - by Raditzu - 05-16-2007, 05:43 AM
See ehn See - by Burter - 05-16-2007, 05:47 AM
See ehn See - by Burter - 05-16-2007, 05:59 AM
See ehn See - by Raditzu - 05-16-2007, 06:03 AM
See ehn See - by OldSpice - 05-17-2007, 12:05 AM
See ehn See - by Burter - 05-17-2007, 12:15 AM
See ehn See - by Retane - 05-17-2007, 01:04 AM
See ehn See - by Burter - 05-17-2007, 01:06 AM
See ehn See - by Retane - 05-17-2007, 01:20 AM
See ehn See - by Burter - 05-17-2007, 01:31 AM
See ehn See - by Retane - 05-17-2007, 01:36 AM
See ehn See - by OldSpice - 05-17-2007, 02:22 AM
See ehn See - by Old Zangya - 05-17-2007, 02:47 AM
See ehn See - by OldSpice - 05-17-2007, 02:51 AM
See ehn See - by Burter - 05-17-2007, 02:57 AM
See ehn See - by Nappa - 05-17-2007, 03:16 AM
See ehn See - by Deo - 05-22-2007, 02:10 AM
See ehn See - by Jeice - 05-22-2007, 02:26 AM
See ehn See - by Tapion - 05-22-2007, 03:12 AM
See ehn See - by Yamu - 05-22-2007, 02:15 PM
See ehn See - by Deo - 05-22-2007, 11:17 PM
See ehn See - by Aero - 05-23-2007, 12:15 AM
See ehn See - by Deo - 05-23-2007, 12:17 AM
See ehn See - by Jeice - 05-23-2007, 12:29 AM
See ehn See - by Nappa - 05-23-2007, 02:19 AM
See ehn See - by Jeice - 05-23-2007, 02:23 AM
See ehn See - by Android-18 - 05-23-2007, 06:23 AM
See ehn See - by Deo - 05-23-2007, 11:16 PM
See ehn See - by Minoshia - 05-24-2007, 01:00 AM
See ehn See - by Bujin - 05-24-2007, 01:15 AM
See ehn See - by Retane - 05-24-2007, 02:14 AM
See ehn See - by Aero - 05-24-2007, 12:32 PM
See ehn See - by Celipa - 05-24-2007, 11:34 PM
See ehn See - by Retane - 05-24-2007, 11:37 PM
See ehn See - by Aero - 05-25-2007, 12:46 AM
See ehn See - by Retane - 05-25-2007, 12:47 AM
See ehn See - by Super Buu - 05-25-2007, 01:37 AM
See ehn See - by Bra - 05-25-2007, 01:38 AM
See ehn See - by Old Zangya - 05-25-2007, 01:39 AM
See ehn See - by Super Buu - 05-25-2007, 01:43 AM
See ehn See - by Bra - 05-25-2007, 01:43 AM
See ehn See - by Old Zangya - 05-25-2007, 01:46 AM
See ehn See - by Old Zangya - 05-25-2007, 01:55 AM
See ehn See - by Bujin - 05-25-2007, 02:02 AM
See ehn See - by Jinpo - 05-25-2007, 02:03 AM
See ehn See - by Retane - 05-25-2007, 02:09 AM
See ehn See - by Bujin - 05-25-2007, 02:10 AM
See ehn See - by Retane - 05-25-2007, 02:11 AM
See ehn See - by Jinpo - 05-25-2007, 02:15 AM
See ehn See - by Retane - 05-25-2007, 02:16 AM
See ehn See - by Nori - 05-25-2007, 02:21 AM
See ehn See - by Orion - 05-25-2007, 03:10 AM
See ehn See - by Retane - 05-25-2007, 03:13 AM
See ehn See - by Jinpo - 05-25-2007, 04:24 AM
See ehn See - by Orion - 05-25-2007, 04:29 AM
See ehn See - by OldPikkon - 05-25-2007, 04:57 AM
See ehn See - by Super Buu - 05-25-2007, 12:29 PM
See ehn See - by Orion - 05-25-2007, 01:07 PM
See ehn See - by Super Buu - 05-25-2007, 01:14 PM
See ehn See - by Raditzu - 05-25-2007, 06:24 PM
See ehn See - by Vegeta - 05-25-2007, 08:35 PM
See ehn See - by Old Zangya - 05-25-2007, 08:46 PM
See ehn See - by Old Zangya - 05-25-2007, 08:53 PM
See ehn See - by Aero - 05-25-2007, 11:02 PM
See ehn See - by Raditzu - 05-25-2007, 11:07 PM
See ehn See - by Yajirobe - 05-25-2007, 11:22 PM
See ehn See - by Old Zangya - 05-25-2007, 11:23 PM
See ehn See - by Bardock - 05-25-2007, 11:23 PM
See ehn See - by Aero - 05-25-2007, 11:33 PM
See ehn See - by Retane - 05-26-2007, 02:39 AM
See ehn See - by Jinpo - 05-26-2007, 02:43 AM
See ehn See - by Retane - 05-26-2007, 02:48 AM
See ehn See - by Android 17 - 05-26-2007, 02:59 AM
See ehn See - by Jinpo - 05-26-2007, 03:00 AM
See ehn See - by Retane - 05-26-2007, 03:02 AM
See ehn See - by Android 17 - 05-26-2007, 03:12 AM
See ehn See - by OldSpice - 05-26-2007, 08:33 AM
See ehn See - by Android 17 - 05-26-2007, 08:39 AM
See ehn See - by Old Zangya - 05-26-2007, 12:06 PM
See ehn See - by Jinpo - 05-26-2007, 12:41 PM
See ehn See - by Aero - 05-26-2007, 01:10 PM
See ehn See - by Deo - 05-26-2007, 01:14 PM
See ehn See - by Aero - 05-26-2007, 01:22 PM
See ehn See - by Orion - 05-26-2007, 02:24 PM
See ehn See - by Nappa - 05-26-2007, 02:28 PM
See ehn See - by Burter - 05-26-2007, 02:33 PM
See ehn See - by Retane - 05-26-2007, 03:52 PM
See ehn See - by Deo - 05-26-2007, 04:09 PM
See ehn See - by Retane - 05-26-2007, 04:13 PM
See ehn See - by Android 17 - 05-26-2007, 05:49 PM
See ehn See - by OldSpice - 05-26-2007, 07:21 PM
See ehn See - by Super Buu - 05-26-2007, 11:05 PM
See ehn See - by Minoshia - 05-27-2007, 01:04 AM
See ehn See - by Paragus - 05-27-2007, 01:07 AM
See ehn See - by Android 17 - 05-27-2007, 01:30 AM
See ehn See - by Minoshia - 05-27-2007, 01:37 AM
See ehn See - by Retane - 05-27-2007, 04:16 AM
See ehn See - by Android 17 - 05-27-2007, 07:01 PM
See ehn See - by Jinpo - 05-27-2007, 10:22 PM
See ehn See - by Aero - 05-27-2007, 10:26 PM
See ehn See - by Retane - 05-28-2007, 04:39 AM
See ehn See - by Aero - 05-28-2007, 10:23 PM
See ehn See - by Yamu - 05-28-2007, 10:25 PM
See ehn See - by Super Buu - 05-28-2007, 10:33 PM
See ehn See - by Aero - 05-28-2007, 10:34 PM
See ehn See - by Aero - 05-28-2007, 10:40 PM
See ehn See - by Raditzu - 05-28-2007, 10:45 PM
See ehn See - by Aero - 05-28-2007, 10:56 PM
See ehn See - by Retane - 05-28-2007, 11:02 PM
See ehn See - by Bujin - 05-28-2007, 11:03 PM
See ehn See - by Aero - 05-29-2007, 12:48 PM
See ehn See - by Aero - 05-29-2007, 12:50 PM
See ehn See - by Retane - 05-30-2007, 12:58 AM
See ehn See - by Aero - 05-30-2007, 01:05 AM
See ehn See - by Retane - 05-30-2007, 03:06 AM
See ehn See - by Vegeta - 05-30-2007, 03:10 AM
See ehn See - by Retane - 05-30-2007, 03:22 AM
See ehn See - by Jinpo - 05-30-2007, 03:41 AM
See ehn See - by Saz - 05-31-2007, 12:28 AM
See ehn See - by Mowgli - 05-31-2007, 07:17 AM
See ehn See - by Aero - 05-31-2007, 12:44 PM
See ehn See - by Bujin - 05-31-2007, 08:53 PM
See ehn See - by Aero - 05-31-2007, 09:00 PM
See ehn See - by Celipa - 06-01-2007, 12:58 AM
See ehn See - by Retane - 06-01-2007, 01:05 AM
See ehn See - by Celipa - 06-01-2007, 01:11 AM
See ehn See - by Aero - 06-01-2007, 01:22 AM
See ehn See - by Celipa - 06-01-2007, 01:27 AM
See ehn See - by Deo - 06-01-2007, 01:28 AM
See ehn See - by Retane - 06-01-2007, 02:24 AM
See ehn See - by Burter - 06-01-2007, 02:26 AM
See ehn See - by Retane - 06-01-2007, 02:40 AM
See ehn See - by Deo - 06-01-2007, 02:41 AM
See ehn See - by Aero - 06-01-2007, 06:50 PM
See ehn See - by Aero - 06-01-2007, 10:01 PM
See ehn See - by Retane - 06-01-2007, 11:20 PM
See ehn See - by Jinpo - 06-02-2007, 12:45 AM
See ehn See - by Android 17 - 06-02-2007, 01:56 AM
See ehn See - by Retane - 06-02-2007, 03:07 AM
See ehn See - by Raditzu - 06-04-2007, 03:22 AM
See ehn See - by Retane - 06-04-2007, 03:34 AM
See ehn See - by Jinpo - 06-04-2007, 03:37 AM
See ehn See - by Burter - 06-04-2007, 03:40 AM
See ehn See - by Retane - 06-04-2007, 03:41 AM
See ehn See - by Jinpo - 06-04-2007, 12:13 PM
See ehn See - by Raditzu - 06-07-2007, 08:20 PM
See ehn See - by Deo - 06-07-2007, 11:27 PM
See ehn See - by Android 17 - 06-07-2007, 11:43 PM
See ehn See - by Jinpo - 06-09-2007, 03:46 AM
See ehn See - by Android 17 - 06-10-2007, 01:58 AM
See ehn See - by Bra - 06-10-2007, 02:35 AM

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