06-14-2006, 06:23 PM
Quote:Originally posted by Bardock
Quote:Originally posted by Toma
Quote:The sun was glowing it's usual golden glimmer.
It just sounds...awkward...too many words starting with g in one sentence.
Actually, that sentence is perfectly fine the way it is, barring the "it's." The 'g-g-g' is alliteration, which is actually a very successful tool in drawing attention to the writing. Don't change it.
Agreed. It needs a strong buffer to really draw out the power in that sentence, but that's pure gold, there. Nice stuff.
Haven't read the rest of the post yet, just wanted to comment on that. =/
![[Image: av50fd.png]](http://i55.tinypic.com/av50fd.png)
Mal Nova Wrote:I do apologize for using the word rape. There are four separate definitions for the word rape, two of which describe vegetation...