08-09-2006, 09:01 PM
I have to admit, that was awesome.
You brought a great sense of realism to it--that really shone through. You made that Nations group believable, but I wasn't sure who Germany and Russia joined. I'd imagine the Nations, but you didn't exactly make it clear. The character was true until the end. Also about the character, I love what you did there. You took a person, made them nationalistic, which caused him to be disliked and it seemed as though you were mocking the type, then when he said he wanted to name the baby after himself, BAM! What a way to use the ol' switcharoo with our feelings and help give light that there is always more to a person. Also, it was a great idea using Virginia. You know it, and you showed it. The only tiff I have is the odd spelling mistake, and I don't like contractions. Like, I would have put 'District of Columbia' instead of 'D.C.,' and 'Virginia' instead of 'VA.' Still a great read, though.
You brought a great sense of realism to it--that really shone through. You made that Nations group believable, but I wasn't sure who Germany and Russia joined. I'd imagine the Nations, but you didn't exactly make it clear. The character was true until the end. Also about the character, I love what you did there. You took a person, made them nationalistic, which caused him to be disliked and it seemed as though you were mocking the type, then when he said he wanted to name the baby after himself, BAM! What a way to use the ol' switcharoo with our feelings and help give light that there is always more to a person. Also, it was a great idea using Virginia. You know it, and you showed it. The only tiff I have is the odd spelling mistake, and I don't like contractions. Like, I would have put 'District of Columbia' instead of 'D.C.,' and 'Virginia' instead of 'VA.' Still a great read, though.
"We're just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl."
![[Image: HFSeventeen.jpg]](http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v687/hf17/HFSeventeen.jpg)