10-14-2006, 06:24 PM
Essays should always be written in first person, and "me" and "I' are all over that essay. This could dramatically change the essay, so I won't give too many "pointers."
It's "lie" or "lay," not "lye," but "lie" sounds right to me, even though I forget teh rules for distinguishing betwene teh two. Also, cut the word "come" in the phrase "...bring come joy to the community ..." Lastly, when you say that Baltimore is the sixth most dangerous city in America, you should cite a source. Going off the top of my head, you simply say the author of whatever work you got it from, and teh page number, if there is one, then make a works cited/bibliography (use the term "works cited" if you used an electronic media to gain the information).
It's "lie" or "lay," not "lye," but "lie" sounds right to me, even though I forget teh rules for distinguishing betwene teh two. Also, cut the word "come" in the phrase "...bring come joy to the community ..." Lastly, when you say that Baltimore is the sixth most dangerous city in America, you should cite a source. Going off the top of my head, you simply say the author of whatever work you got it from, and teh page number, if there is one, then make a works cited/bibliography (use the term "works cited" if you used an electronic media to gain the information).
"We're just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl."
![[Image: HFSeventeen.jpg]](http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v687/hf17/HFSeventeen.jpg)