The Dante Daily Vol. 1, Iss. 1

[Zangya]

THE DANTE DAILY
Volume I, Issue I
Written by Grimm

Why, hello everyone, my name's Grimm and I'll be your official correspondant for all of your Dante's Abyss news. This report will hopefully help all of you viewers ou there understand the competition at hand. Now, to begin, let's give off the names of our Viewers' Choice spotlight this issue. This issue, the spotlight winner was chosen by myself, but next issue, it will be chosen by a panel of viewers via an online poll! So get ready for that. The nominees, you ask? Well, that would be...

REIJIN...

ANDROID SEVENTEEN...

RETANE...

And the winner is:

It was impossible for the namekian to fathom that Tapion could have, so carelessly, signed his own Warrant of Death. The mercenary could do nothing more then look back down upon his old comrad, or perhaps newest victim.

"Perhaps in the Abyss the impossible is very well possible', muttered the grim feind. "But why, Tapion? Why this? What drove you to do this? Was it me? The Abyss? Did you have this all planned since we had met earlier? Or was it a spur of the moment?"

Retane sighed and leapt down from the clift, landing in a kneeled fashion as he looked down at the peaceful Horsemen. That what Tapion was, though, through and through. A true Horsemen saw oppurtunity and took what they desired. And Tapion had desired to make it to the top, and Retane was one obstical that had stood in his way. But with failure of a great risk, comes great sacrafice. A life for a life. Retane had just returned the favor to a freind in the end.

But now it was time for punishment.

CONGRATULATIONS, RETANE!

Author's Commentary: Retane has shown that he has not only grown as a writer over the past year, but most definitely as an artist as well. He has begun to shape Retane's personality from the two-dimensional mercenary to someone who is not just in it for the kill, but rather the experience. He proved himself a skilled writer in that he dodged certain demise several times -- in the face of a fusion, he escaped. In the face of betrayal, he escaped. In the face of a giant, dumb man, he escaped. Retane's character development thoughout his short time in the saga has given us reason to mourn his elimination. He was a strong competitor, and though we all are deep down relieved at not having to fight him for the title, we are sad to see him go. His writing skill reflected each day, and each day he continued to show his luck and determination. But in the end, the fourth time was the charm for Retane's would-be assailants, and now, we have to watch him leave. We've asked Burter, our host, to give us a short, one-sentence statement on his feelings for this week's Viewer's Choice winner.

Burter's Comments On Retane: "A good writer but a horrible gamer."

IN OTHER NEWS...

Today's Headlines:

HELLFIGHTER 17, ORION BEST EVERYONE'S FAVORITE VILLAIN

The scheming was apparant in Retane's head. He knew his way around this game, but in the end, his "a face-to-face per day" tactic was the wrong choice. Eventually, HF17 and Orion, a fairly infantile alliance, bested him in his weakened state.

DANTE'S ABYSS HAS A PREGNANT COMPETITOR

Early this morning, it was revealed that Zangya, a second-timer here on Dante's Abyss 2008, was pregnant. She is offically the Abyss's first pregnant victim, that has actually been pregnant on the show.

DYNAMIC DUO FUSE FOR SNIPER RIFLE

The first Easter Egg was released today, and everyone was almost certain who would get it when the fan favorite pair of Raditzu and Android 18 appeared on the fray. They fused into their famed combination Eightzu, and, after killing Ruhiel the assassin android and packing a wallop to Retane, they won the day, getting the sniper rifle, but resulting in being tired for eighteen hours!

And that's all for today, folks. Stay tuned for next week! Polls will be up for viewers choice upon the introduction of Day 2: Evening. Guest columnists may be hired if the need arises! Thank you, everyone!

EDIT: Comments are welcome.

[Android 17]

Paige was pregnant during DA07.

[Zangya]

First PC competitor. GAH. =(

EDIT: Also, contestant who is aware of the pregnancy. If you say she was aware, I'm-a come after you. D=<

[Bardock]

Are you bored? =(

[Zangya]

I signed up for that columnist thing Burter posted a while ago.

[Android 17]

First PC competitor. GAH. =(

EDIT: Also, contestant who is aware of the pregnancy. If you say she was aware, I'm-a come after you. D=<

She was 9 months pregnant, and broke her water after the Rad-17-Buu fight.

lol

[Bardock]

Carry on then

[Zangya]

She was 9 months pregnant, and broke her water after the Rad-17-Buu fight.

lol

Grrr you're not funny

[Aero]

you should've done voting for this. It's basically based off of your opinion. =P

[Zangya]

Voting comes next week

This came off the top of my head, like, literally. Next one will be more organized.

BTW, who would you have voted for, Aero?

[Aero]

I would've mentioned Talys' awesomeness with the gameboy.

[Zangya]

Ah, completely forgot about that.

[Talys]

Woah. . .I like being mentioned, haha. . .Thanks! Anyway, I'm starting to let Talys' more darker side show. . .if you read my last post you'll understand.

[Bardock]

That was actually well-written. Nice plug, by the way.

[Zangya]

That was actually well-written. Nice plug, by the way.

Directed to me or Talys? If the former, what plug?

[Bardock]

Directed to you, and the pregnant plug.

EDIT: But Talys has well-written stuff, too.

[Burter]

If you guys want your own shit in columns, write 'em. Zangya did a damn good job, I'd say.

[Zangya]

Thanks to both of you, then.

I'm going to keep writing these even after my elimination. By the way, I'm accepting predictions for who will win Viewers' Choice. First person to guess the winner right will get 100 zeni from me upon the release of the column.

[Violet]

Just edit your post, Zangya. Double posting ftl.

[Zangya]

Yeah. Lapse in judgment.