Heavy Heart ~poem

[Reijin]

Mone!

[Old Selipa]

That is very good I liked it a lot. Did you ever come to Canada Toronto?

[Hellfighter 17]

That is pretty good man, I wish I could do that, but I always just slap mine together and they never com eout right.

[Old Selipa]

Your emotions seem to be on the negative side so I hope you get better. Love can be a hard and tricky item to deal with.

This maybe of topic but how was Toronto for you, did you view any of the locations I suggested. ^_^ Cause its interesting to see how Chubbs has made this world much more smaller in making companions come to your part of the world.

[Krillin]

That was a pretty good poem. The imagery was wonderful, and rather concrete. However, the syllabic inequality between the lines kinda shook it up a bit. You don't have to have perfect meter (as I can't really stand to attempt doing that), but it would greatly help the flow of this piece.

In all, not bad.

[Krillin]

Each line varied strongly in number of syllables, and it progressed from stanza to stanza. It made me, when I read it, miss beats and accidentally add some. It kinda detracted from the overall feel.

But, like I said, I usually don't count out my syllables either, so don't worry about it too much. Today's poetry has strayed greatly from metrical accuracy.